Bury all your secrets
by qwertysweetea
Summary: Prussia was state who had always been content with being alone but he never expected to hurt so much to see his rouge Hungarian in the Aristocratic Austrian's arms. Italias are memories or flashbacks. Human names used. Based off Snuff by Slipknot.


Based off the song Snuff [Slipknot]

Constructive criticism is always welcome!

Human names used.

Disclaimer: I do not own nor claim to own Axis Powers: Hetalia or any characters and places associated with Hidekazu Himaruya and Gentosha Comics. No profit is made from the writing for this fanfiction!

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><p>I had always had strange and confusing feeling when it came to a certain young lady but until it was retold to me I seldom noticed it for myself. After one night of laughs my brother came to me with a chuckle on his lips and told me it was the first time he had seen me so proper; bowing, kissing her hand as if she was royalty… but that time of happiness was short lived when I heard about her engagement to a young aristocrat.<p>

My perfectly healthy self, felt completely and utterly broken. It was never going to make sense, to try and explain it would be ridiculous; you would have to try and live through it, I guess though I would not advise it. Only after that did I notice it more and more.

I pulled out one of my small diaries dating back only a number of months, letting small letters and notes fall onto my lap with a sad, almost emotionless smile. My fingers ran over the dainty calligraphic words and closed my eyes against the still air, mind still racing.

I made my way into the ballroom that day, hands shaking noticeably on my jacket. Trying to keep a cool exterior didn't have such a great start. For a state, not even a nation, my presence was only just tolerated, let-alone expected.

"Dance with me?" She questioned before I could do anything but smile, her fingers weaved with mine. My hand was on her waist, to busy gazing at her bright smile to focus on our footwork… I knew we were a mess, she was almost giggling vocally as we fumbled on the simplest moves.

It didn't matter, nothing much mattered other than that I adored Elizabeta more than anything else and it was gutting me; I felt like I was slowly being crushed, the breath knocked out of my chest yet I was only just able to find another breath, one after the other.

Her hand was taken out of mine by another; it was nothing I could fight and nothing that she wanted to. My face had frozen and I could only be grateful. I had become too scared to turn my back in case I would break but now I could. Now, I didn't want to look back. She was dancing in his arms and they would look like a pair of angels.

I felt so dirty… so hated, wore and used for mock kindness and rough love. It hurt, like she could ever want me to be there soothing her wounds and holding her lightly. Trapping me, crushing me; the air made me feel heavy. My breaths had started to become erratic as I tried to slip in more oxygen then could fill my lungs. With a faint head I leant up against the wall, letters and stray memories splayed under me, crumpling like they meant nothing.

My whole life was in those few books and the rest seemed useless… without her it just felt pointless. Not even I, famous narcissist, was interesting in reading back on my own life when I knew she wasn't a feature. If I could have banished them from my memories and be done with it I would have. Of anything I was tired of the gutting abandonment, being taken over my raging emotions packed in by the inability to cry.

My uniform felt so heavy with the blood of thousands. My boots might as well have been plastered with battlefield mud… gloves dusted with gunpowder. They didn't have imaginary ash falling from their hair, drenched in rain. They looked perfect; pure… my Elizabeta was his, in his arms.

She was holding me back, those dazzling, wondering eyes that I fell into every time I came close enough to them. It was like she still had me and by the cheeky smile always etched onto her pretty lips, she was never going to let me go.

I made my way out, completely numb for the shoulders down, face frozen the way I had tried to keep it all evening: concentrated disappointment masking crushing heartbreak.  
>She glanced at me once I reached the door, catching me when I glared back as a goodbye.<p>

She seemed sad if anything, disappointment marked her pales face, the blush began to vanish. Long since vacant tear ducts began swell, grinding my teeth together to halt myself. I looked angry, I guess in a way I was. Too many lost emotions raged through my body. It felt like guilt was crushing me with its cold, unforgiving fingers. Anger burnt though my veins like a liquid fire. The overall, gutting feeling of uselessness was crushing me.

I muttered back at myself angrily, never having enough confidence to ask her. I threw my head down as my trembles overcame me and spin on my heels. "What right do you have to be sad?"

I had never considered marking Elizabeta as selfish, not even as I sat there reading through old memories, thinking through dark times and deep down I knew she could crush me over and I would crawl back like a loyal lap dog.

Sighing softly I sat up to shift my weight, feeling two slim arms snack around my neck and her sigh mingle with mine. "Gilbert…"

I leant my head back against her chest and opened my eyes.

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><p>Thanks for reading x<p> 


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